Experienced parents have long ago noticed that the time when a parent is under considerable stress seems to be the time when the baby is the most cantankerous. Is there a relationship? Absolutely. Babies are extremely sensitive to the moods of their caregivers. A happy caregiver is usually working with a happy baby. A highly stressed caregiver causes stress and stressful behavior in the child.
The Child's Reaction to Parental Stress
The effect of parental stress on babies depends upon two factors, the intensity of the stress and the duration. In a short-term stressful situation, such as a natural reaction to a plumbing leak in the kitchen or a temporary loss of electricity, will cause stress in a child but only for a short time. When the stressful event is over and the parental stress stops, the baby's stressful feelings will also be relieved with no long term effect. Long-term stressful periods, such as parental reaction to a divorce or job loss, can have long-term negative effects upon the child as the parent's moods become darker and less loving attention is paid to the child. When this stressful condition lasts for a long period, the child will have growing feelings of abandonment. Young children model their behavior after the behavior of their parents and caregivers. If you are under constant stress and react by screaming, drinking, or being quick to anger, a young child's behavior will mimic this. He will learn erroneously that this sort of behavior is a suitable response to similar situations. Exposure to constant stress levels in the home can actually cause physical and psychological developmental changes in the child that will affect his behavior for the rest of his life. These changes can include the development of a brain that is smaller than normal, diminish the protection provided by the body's immune system, damage parts of the brain that control learning and memory, and develop a pattern of behavior that causes negative responses to stress throughout the child's life.
Teaching Children How to Handle Stress
Stress is normal experience in living, especially in the rush of modern society. Day to day stressful events are transient. If you react to them in a mature and responsible manner, your child will not be negatively affected. He will, in fact, learn to react in the same manner that you exhibit. Don't become stressed over the fact that life is full of stress. Learn how to live with it effectively, and teach these skills to your child. Not all stress that a child experiences is a reaction to parental stress. Life intrudes upon the baby as an individual as it does with the parent. Consider the first visit to the pediatrician's office. The baby will be smiling and happy until that dreadful needle gets poked into the child's bottom. The memory of that event will cause considerable stress to the child on the next visit to the pediatrician. If the parent and physician soothe the child with supporting and comforting words, the child will learn to manage future visits and to deal effectively with the stressful feelings that arise. Parents must recognize that the baby's stressful situations arise from two sources: transferred parental stress, the more damaging of the two, and stressful situations directed specifically to the child. For the transferred parental stress, the impact upon the child can be minimized by practicing good stress management techniques to modify your own behavior. Taking a deep breath or exercising to reduce stress will benefit both you and the child. For the stress that affects the child directly, loving comfort and support is the remedy.
Ways to Reduce Your Stress Level
There are a number of ways to reduce the stresses that assault parents on a daily basis. Consider some of the proven stress relievers discussed below.
- Practice Yoga or meditation techniques. There are classes and groups active in most cities.
- Make a monthly visit to a local massage parlor, and remove all the built-up tension from your muscles.
- Exercise regularly. Take long walks. Jog. Workout daily on a treadmill. Join a gym. It will help you both mentally and physically.
- Maintain your friendships. Hire a babysitter and spend some time with old friends at a luncheon or a weekly get together at a local coffee shop.
- If you have a specific ongoing stressful situation, such as single parenting or health issues, join a support group. Sharing with people in similar situations is extremely helpful.
Finally, recognize that you can't be all things to all people. If your stress stems from trying to fit twenty-five hours of activity into a twenty-four hour day - prioritize. Do what's necessary first, do what's important next, and forget about everything else.
About the Author
Guest post is written by Amy Brown who was a stay-at-home mom and now is an editor of Livesnet.com. Livesnet.com is a site offering baby gear reviews and tips on problems parents encounter in daily life. She's surely willing to share her own experience and tips. Please visit Livesnet and read recent hot articles on Britax Roundabout Convertible Car Seat and Britax Frontier 85 Car Seat.
