As I suspected the drugs I was prescribed were stronger than those I was already on and after checking them out on KellyMom, I made a decision that I'd better not breastfeed Jack anymore.
So, with tears streaming down my face, I gave him his last breastfeed and tried to explain to him that his "tea" was going away...
Poor Jack had no idea why I wouldn't feed him all evening and, during the night, it almost broke my heart to see him begging for a feed and struggling out of Stan's arms to get to me. He was absolutely distraught and I spent most of the night crying too, partly because I was still in a lot of pain, but also because I never wanted it to be like this. The gradual weaning had been going so well and to have to stop so unexpectedly was a shock for both of us.
All day yesterday he kept pointing at me and giving me kisses before looking into my eyes and whimpering "tea", his baby talk for breastmilk! It was just awful...
As time passed I was also getting very engorged and had to go hunting for my old faithful, the Medela breast-pump!
After expressing 8oz of milk, it was with a sinking heart that I realised I would have to throw it out. But, it just seemed such a terrible waste. And I quite honestly couldn't bring myself to throw it down the sink - so instead I poured it into a glass, took a few photos of it and then called Jack. We went into the garden and I let Jack pour it onto a very special Japanese Maple we have in a pot at our front door. It was like a little final goodbye to breastfeeding and I felt a little better about it than the last feed Jack had had with me dripping tears all over him!!
But that's not quite the end of the tale...
Last night, just after Jack had wept himself to sleep as I tried to give him a bottle, and I was on my way to bed, I decided to check my emails.
Lo and behold there was an urgent message from Tanya from the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog. She had read my previous post and, having just returned from a conference give by world's leading expert on the pharmacology of medications and mothers milk, Dr Thomas Hale, she asked me to let her know what my prescription was.
Within minutes of replying, she had very kindly checked out my medication and was able to assure me that it was fine to continue breastfeeding on this particular drug because of Jack's age (as a toddler he doesn't take as much breastmilk as a tiny baby would), the fact he is eating a varied diet, and because so little of the particular drug I am on passes into my milk.
Well, I was so thrilled I almost threw myself downstairs (which wouldn't have been very pleasant!) in my haste to pass on the good news to my hubby!
But, oh my goodness, was Jack pleased? After going without a breastfeed for about 34 hours he was deliriously happy to get his Tea back again! And I've been smiling ever since too.
So all that remains is for me to say a very public Thank You to Tanya.
Thank You Tanya for coming to the rescue.
Thank You from the bottom of my heart.
And just in case you hadn't realised it, I really appreciate that you took the time check out the latest research on my medicine and to let me know I could continue to breastfeed.
You have made me one very happy mummy and Jack a very happy little boy! :)